"You know what?" Say my thousands of adoring fans as they turn on their computers. "I hope she wrote a thanksgiving post, and took a break from her usual pretentious ramblings on literature and her life to list all of the things she's thankful for in this world."
Actually, that was precisely what I was about to do.
-I'm thankful for the vacuum cleaner, because I can turn it on to drown out the sound of my relatives watching Yo Gabba Gabba on the couch next to be.
-I'm thankful for used bookstores, which make me feel incredibly classy.
-I'm thankful for Holden Caulfield, because of how he's given me a great idea for an English essay, and the fact that he makes me look like a great person by comparison.
-I'm thankful for the 1980s in general, because they gave us Toto, Phil Collins, Dexy's Midnight Runners, and tons of other awesome musicians.
-I'm thankful for the Muppet Movie, which was the single best film of the year. Period.
-I'm thankful for Billy Joel, whose songs remind me a lot of of a book that I've read. They make nice background music for my life.
-I'm thankful for my growing collection of peruvian hats, which both keep my head warm and make me look pretty awesome.
-Lastly, I'm thankful for key lime pie. There is literally no better tasting pie in all of the world.
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