More Advice from Fiction!

An 80s love song plays in my headphones.  I sit on my bed and open my laptop, wondering at what great literal work I'll crank out this time.


So I think...
... and think
... and think some more


And then I say to myself- hey I know!


Sue: High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor. 
Will: And... where do the Glee kids lie? 
Sue: Subbasement. 


So in case you couldn't tell... this blog is going to be another 'fiction list' (see "They're Better In Fiction") only this time- about HIGH SCHOOL!  But I guess I should clarify something- this list isn't going to have any books in it because I find in most cases there are more people that have seen a specific movie/TV show than read a specific book.


So here I go!


1) If you are in your school's glee club, and there is a slushee machine somewhere on campus, always wear a raincoat. (Glee)


2) If your an egotistical jock, people will like you even more than usual if whenever you say your name you put your fists in the air and shout your name to the world.  "STEVE HOLT!" (Arrested Development)

3) "Live every day as if you might suddenly be hit by a school bus" (from Roger Eberts review of Mean Girls)

4) Rooftop gardens, though completely unheard of in most high schools, are very romantic. (High School Musical)

5) When running for class president, always promise the student body that you will make their wildest dreams come true (Napoleon Dynamite)

6) If Tina Fey is your physics teacher and you have Justin Bieber hair she will probably be attracted to you (SNL)


7) A few well deserved prank calls to your mean principal in senior year never hurt anyone! (Ferris Buhler's Day Off)


8) If you don't feel like going to school, just tell your dad that you have the day off because it's "Help Your Daddy Follow His Dreams Day" (Arrested Development)


9) If you are a teenage film executive, some intern will happily write your english report for you. (Arrested Development)


10) Moon boots are the coolest thing you can wear (Napoleon Dynamite)


Coming soon... how to ask a girl out: The Fiction List 3!