Hey Look! I Caught It!

Second only to math, PE is my worst subject.  My strong aversion to physical activity could come from a number of sources, none of which I feel like exploring right now because that would probably dig up some horrifying memories.  Oh no, here come the flashbacks...

(3 bags of potato chips,  18 marshmallows and an ice cream sundae later...)

Right... gym class.  A place for the buff to show off their superhuman physical ability, the girly to stand around and gossip, and the Rest Of Us to hide in the corner and try not to get hit by dodge balls.

Usually, gym class is a staple torture that comes with the start of each school year, and I've grown used to it.  It wouldn't really be that bad if we got to, say, just play basketball with each other or simply go outside and run around.  But no, obviously it's a better idea for everyone to have to play terrifying organized games like Human Foozeball, where a bunch of kids hold on to a big PBC pipe and run around trying to kick soccer balls at each other.  Please explain to me how that's a good idea.

Anyway, my point is that since I was in kindergarden gym class has always frightened me to death.  In fifth grade we did a bowling unit, and our teacher thought it would be a good idea to have me stand next to the pins and reset them after people hurled 10 pound balls at me.  I had to be carried to the clinic and I had a purple bruise on my leg for a few months following.

So this year, when I found out that not only did I have first period gym, but that my teacher was the scary man I had seen wandering the hallways with a toothpick in his mouth, snarling at children, I nearly had a heart attack.  My fear of my eighth grade gym teacher (who made us do exercise tapes and thought skittles were meant to be swallowed like pills and not chewed) was nothing in comparison.

But surprisingly, this year has probably been my favorite year of gym class of my entire life!  It turns out Mr. Snarly McToothpick is actually just a big softy inside, and guess what else?  For reasons beyond my understanding, he loves me.  I have an embarrassing nickname complete with a theme song, and an affectionate bruise on my forehead from when he tried to give me a knuckle touch and missed!

Also, our current unit in gym class is handball, which is basically soccer except you throw and catch a squishy yellow ball instead of kicking around a soccer ball, and there are smaller nets and no goalies.  In our class, we play six on six, and no mixed gender games, so my only competition is a bunch of girls who would rather squeal and jump out of the way than catch the ball and risk breaking a nail.  It can actually be really fun to run around and own the court, it's a real self esteem boost.

Just an update, I haven't completed any more new years resolutions yet, but I'm getting there!  My enthusiastic father read my sushi resolution and gave me a ten minute lecture about why I should try it...