Sad Panda

Today has been a horrible day.  I feel like everything I've strived for, accomplished, and dreamed of has formed an avalanche that just came crashing down on me, quashing all that remained of my self confidence and hope.  Society has blown out the candleflame that is my passion.  Only oppressing darkness remains inside my once luminescent soul.

Not to be dramatic or anything.

By any chance, do you remember my post a while back where I mentioned writing a persuasive essay for english class?  We got them back today.  It figures that on the one essay of the entire year where I had almost instantaneous inspiration, a lot of confidence and an impressively unique premise, I would get a C.  Yes, that's right.  I got a C.  C for crap; and calamitous, catastrophic, conniving, crass, churlish, cruel, and cynical.

I don't really know what to do now.  It just feels like nothing is going right for me, not even today or this week.  Just...now.

I'm also upset about orchestra.  We had auditions for next year a while ago, and apparently I'm still in the same orchestra as I was this year.  Pretty much the same seat.  I guess it's okay because I wasn't fully expecting to get into symphony (the best one, I'm in the 2nd best one) but at the same time, I'm just tired of how no one in my orchestra seems to care.

So basically, I've been spending a lot of time listening to this weird indie music that somehow implanted itself onto my ipod.  I don't know where it came from, seeing as how I didn't buy it or import it from a CD or anything.  I don't even have enough energy to worry about how it got there.  But anyway, I've just been listening this one song over and over again.  It's pretty depressing.  (Both the song and the fact that I'm sitting like a lump in a corner listening to it repeatedly.)

I am a sad, sad panda.